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In our everyday lives, communication is almost as essential as breathing, whether we like it or
not. Modern technologies and the ever growing web are making communication around the
world possible in a matter of seconds. Why is interpersonal exchanges so unproductive then?
Why is there more misunderstanding and divorces than ever? Part of the answer is that in our
stressful, ever rapid changing society, we have forgotten the art of communication.
The first important step in communication is looking at the person you are trying to
communicate with. Look for all those non-verbal clues and you will discover how the person is
really receiving the message you are giving her. The body language is way more true than the
words spoken. If a person says:äYes, I am feeling goodä with a grin on her face, her
subconscious mind is reaching out to you. I have very often reflected the non-verbal messages I
was picking-up from my patients. It always turned out to be a manifestation of their true feelings.
They were very relieved to be able to open-up once I showed my receptivity.
This is the reason if a person is with another person, a prolonged cell phone conversation with
other people just spells out;äYou are not that important to me. I would rather talk about futilities
with this remote person.ä...so close your cell phones if you are already with someone.
Next, it has been described that people prefer certain communication modes more than others. A
person who likes to see things is said to function more on a visual mode. For example, if I buy
an e-book, I always have to print it and see it on paper. I also learn way more efficiently if I write
the material I have to learn. Visual persons will express themselves with expressions like; ãNice
to see you. Letâs be clear on that. I get the picture. ä, etc. Letâs say for example that you start
paying attention and you find out that your superior at work operates more on a visual pattern.
You can use this knowledge whenever you address him a report or a note by providing him with
colourful graphics and always leave him a printed version of what you have told him so he can
look at it later.
Second, some people are said to be more auditory. They love to hear stuff. They usually have
expressions like.:äI hear you. Listen! Life is a sweat melody.ä,etc. You will have more success
with them by talking and playing with words.
Other people are said to be kinesthetic. They learn and interact with their environment by
touching and feeling the different textures. I realized that children are naturally kinesthetic when
I went to the flee market with three of my children and I must have said :äDonât touch!ä at least
sixty times in one hour. If you look at babies their whole world is explored by going through
theirs hands, feet and mouth. We loose this marvellous way of communicating from all the
interdiction around us and it is sad.. I know that next time I go shopping with my children,
instead of forbidding them to touch anything, I will touch everything with them!
There is nothing like a good perfume for an olfactory person but tastes vary so much in this area
that it is hard to please everyone.
We do not operate on just one mode but most people have a mode they favour. Once you know
this, you can create way more productive exchanges with people around you . Hence, by
addressing them on their favourite mode, you will be able to create a more efficient
communication. This is the reason why so many children are incorrectly labelled ADD or
ADHD and fed potent drugs. If only the school systems understood that they would get a way
better success by offering children to learn on whatever mode they function best. Parents have a
saying on how their children are thought.
What can YOU get out of all this? First, be curious and discover your favourite mode of
communication. You can then use this strength to be more efficient in your work or at home.
Then, you can explore the other modes and open-up to a whole new world. Next, have fun
discovering other personâs dominant mode of communication. Then, you can use this new
knowledge to interact more efficiently with people around you.
When addressing a crowd, it is best to aim at reaching the most people possible by having an
auditory presentation, visual material and have kinesthetic people enjoy themselves by having
them move around or write notes.
Bottom of it all though is :The basis of communication will always be to look at a person in the
eyes when they are talking and caring sincerely, it always shows!
Dr Nathalie Fiset is a family doctor, a certified hypnotherapist and a neuro-linguistic
practitioner . She is the author of the powerful hypnosis for childbirth program Hypno-
Beginning©. She is currently creating the powerful Alpha-Power© program for best mental and
physical health with hypnosis. You can learn valuable information on natural childbirth on her
web site at www.hypno-beginning.com. You can also consult her other complete and
professional web site on hypnosis for well-being at: www.aperfectharmony.com.To be notified
when her Alpha Power© program will be ready, you can subscribe to her newsletter on the web
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